Breaking through my own anxieties
Also: an ode to doing nothing with your best friend, my delayed discovery of Gen-Z sodas, and an easy weeknight dinner
After last week’s post on the positive advances I was noticing regarding my newborn son’s sleep and wake patterns, last night he went to sleep too late, woke up too early, and napped so little today that by late afternoon I thought my brain might break if he (I) didn’t sleep soon. He finally fell asleep at 3pm and napped for three whole hours! I slept too, and woke up just in time for my 5pm coffee, which fueled some housework. How much cleaning can one person get done in the 30 minutes in which baby is transferred from contact napping to napping in his seat? A lot, apparently! My kitchen is now sparkling.
This week was about getting through some of my mom anxieties. These were specifically about getting out of my neighborhood with my baby, something I hadn’t yet done on my own.
A quick aside on the whole concept of mom anxieties: when I was pregnant, I was determined not to be an anxious mom. I pride myself on being a relatively calm person (thank you, years of yoga and meditation practice). I had witnessed some other otherwise unflappable friends become very anxious new mothers, suddenly worrying about outlandish risks or refusing to let others hold their babies. I remember thinking how silly their concerns seemed.
However, becoming a mom for the first time gave me empathy for these friends. You’re keeping another human alive for the first time in your life, and it is indeed stressful. We can’t always help how we react. But this post is dedicated to pushing past the things that scare you, and coming out better for it on the other side.
Last month I made a commitment to spend a few days “down the shore” with my best friend. It would be my first time driving by myself with my baby, let alone driving a distance with him and spending two nights in a new location. I had no idea how he was going to react to the drive. Given how much he detests his car seat on short drives in the city, I was nervous that he’d spend the entire 90-minute drive screaming (and me crying). In reality, he slept the entire ride, then alternated between sleep and a calm state of observance during an early dinner with some family who were at the beach for the week.
The restaurant was another stresser. My family and I originally planned to go later in the evening, at a time that would fall directly within his witching hour. Due to some weather concerns, we decided on an early dinner instead, which I realized is a perfect and simple boundary I can set to keep baby (and mama) happy for any future dining outings.
Tropical Storm Debbie kept us mostly indoors the next two days, so unfortunately baby didn’t get to experience the actual beach. But here is where I will suggest having a best friend in your life with whom you can happily spend hours doing nothing. No need to entertain one another; it’s enough to sit quietly in each others’ presence with the TV on low so my baby could peacefully nap. I’ve had mine since we were both eleven, and my goodness I’m grateful for her. It was a lovely two days, and I’m no longer afraid of driving with him or having him sleep in a new location; he slept easily in his travel bassinet.
The next baby bucket list item: taking him on the train. This morning, the baby and I met a friend and her two young boys at a park downtown. I am used to commuting on the train regularly for work, but this was the first time I took the baby with me. My worries were thus: What if he screamed the whole time? What if someone was having a mental health episode? (This is unfortunately more common than it should be.)
Again, I needn’t worry. The train was fine! He slept the whole time in his carrier and there was no mental health episode to speak of. I even got some smiles from fellow passengers.
So! A little bit of independence secured this week, and I’m feeling great about it. The takeaway: get out of your comfort zone, in the small and big ways you can.
Now for the fun stuff.
What I’m wearing: momcore
I don’t know if it’s the new glasses, or the baby carrier that we broke out this week (peep his lil’ head, hehe), or the diaper bag I’m wearing as a backpack, but man, I’m feeling very mom these days and lemme tell you, I am here. for. it!
What I’m drinking: gen-Z’s favorite soda
I keep saying this and I honestly don’t know if it’s even true, but the marketing is very Gen-Z, right?
In any case, I’m way late to the game on Poppi and Ollipop, the newish sodas with stevia (so very low on sugar) and some kinda prebiotics that are allegedly good for your gut health. I am… kind of obsessed? I look forward to a fun end-of-evening drink just like everyone else. But as a sober gal, I’m always on the hunt for a new fun NA drink to enjoy with my dinner. I don’t always have the energy (or ingredients) to make a nice mocktail. My typical go-to is a kombucha or seltzer with a splash of Belvoir Elderflower Lemonade (so, so good). Occasionally I’ll have an Athletic beer or a NA wine. Poppi has fulfilled the craving I have for something a little bubbly and a little sweet, without a ton of cals or added sugar. And not to get all “the snozzberries taste like snozzberries,” but the Cola really tastes like Cola, the root beer really tastes like root beer, etc. etc.
What I’m eating: a stuffed sweet potato
My husband and I have developed a pattern over the years of eating late. Be it his work schedule as an audio engineer or years of me going to yoga right after work, we don’t start preparing dinner until at least 8pm. And lately, if the baby won’t go to sleep before 9pm (something we’re working on…) I’m guilty of not preparing anything until then. So, meals that I can put together quickly but that are still nutritious are a must!
Jacket sweet potatoes are exactly that kind of meal. I even prepared the sweet potato in the microwave to save time, and I honestly don’t notice the difference from the times I’ve baked it in the oven. For the fillings, I sautéed some onions, green peppers, cherry tomatoes, and chickpeas, then topped with some feta and a dollop of hummus. Really this was me looking at what I had available in my refrigerator, but this flavor combination really worked. It was delicious and took me less than 15 minutes to prepare (not to mention easy cleanup). Yum!